^6MaGgoTs6^

BAJU CINTA??????

Seorang nenek datang menziarahi rumah cucu perempuannya yang baru berkahwin. Setelah membunyikan loceng, si nenek terkejut kerana mendapati cucu perempuannya yang membuka pintu dgn tanpa seurat benang pun di badannya. Belum sempat si nenek bertanya, si cucu berkata,“Saya sedang menunggu suami saya pulang dari berkerja nie nek!”..
“Yg kau telanjang tu nape!!!???” marah si nenek. “Ini la BAJU CINTA saya” balas si cucu perempuannya.
“BAJU CINTA ??” si nenek kehairanan. “Ya, suami saya menyukainya, saya juga begitu senang MEMAKAInya”
“Saya harap nenek dapat balik dulu sebelum suami saya pulang kerana tentu suami saya nanti akan berasa malu melihat saya memakai BAJU CINTA ini di hadapan nenek.” pinta si cucu perempuannya
Si nenek faham kehendak cucunya. Dalam fikirannya mungkin itu cara terbaru si isteri melayan sang suami. Di dalam perjalanan pulang si nenek mendapat idea. Fikirnya dengan mengikut cara cucu perempuannya, sudah tentu dia dapat mengeratkan hubungannya dengan si atok yang sudah berumur.
Sesampainya di rumah, si nenek tadi terus menanggalkan semua pakaiannya, mandi, berbedak dan memakai minyak wangi sewangi wanginya. Kemudian si nenek tadi pun menunggu si atok pulang. Beberapa ketika si atok pon pulang. Sebaik saja pintu di buka, si atok mendapati si nenek berbogel kat depan pintu….
“Awat hang nie? Dah buang tebiat keeer???” marah si atok tadi.
“Ini lah BAJU CINTA saya bang” kata si nenek tadi.
BAJU CINTA???…. .. Kok iyea pun….. IRON la dulu baju tuh!!
nampak sangat kedutnyer… ..”

Is your Daddy home?????

The boss of a big company needed to
call one of his employees about an
urgent problem with one of the main
computers.

He dialed the employee's home phone
number and was greeted with a child's
whispered, "Hello?"

Feeling put out at the inconvenience
of having to talk to a youngster the
boss asked, "Is your Daddy home?"

"Yes," whispered the small voice.

"May I talk with him?" the man asked.

To the surprise of the boss, the small
voice whispered, "No."

Wanting to talk with an adult, the
boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"

"Yes", came the answer.

"May I talk with her?"

Again the small voice whispered, "No".

Knowing that it was not likely that a
young child would be left home alone,

The boss decided he would just leave a
message with the person who should be
there watching over the child.

"Is there anyone there besides you?"
the boss asked the child.

"Yes" whispered the child, "A
policeman."

Wondering what a cop would be doing at
his employee's home, the boss asked,

"May I speak with the policeman?"

"No, he's busy," whispered the child.

"Busy doing what?" asked the boss.

Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the
fireman," came the whispered answer.

Growing concerned and even worried as
he heard what sounded like a

Helicopter through the ear piece on
the phone the boss asked, "What is
that noise?"

"A hello-copper," answered the
whispering voice.

"What is going on there?" asked the
boss, now alarmed.

In an awed whispering voice the child
answered, "The search team just landed
the hello-copper."

Alarmed, concerned and more than just
a little frustrated, the boss
asked, "Why are they there?"

Still whispering, the young voice
replied along with a muffled
giggle, "They're looking for me."

Reality for Malaysian couples and gurlz

I pick this shit from a friend..Kinda funny but seems soo true... haha...

Survey Made By Wong Ah Beng 

Awek cun + balak hensem
---------- --------------
In  couple rileks sahaja.. Tiada
menunjukkan public affection yang
berlebihan. Olang lain pun sinang
melihat meleka.

Awek cun + balak tak hensem
Kebanyakan awek yg cun mesti mendapat
balak yang tidak hensem. Silapelhatikan
balak itu, ada satu macam muka bangga
sebab dia punya amoi cun. Kadang-kadang
itu balak mesti pakai spec hitam mau
kasik nampak sikit hensem. Boleh
diperhatika n juga, itu balak suka buat
lawak talak kelaka mau kasik tambat
hati aweknya itu (tapi itu awek jalang
ketawa, cuma senyum manis sahaja).
Selalunya juga, balak itu mempunyai
dompet yang tebal.


Awek tak cun + balak hensem
Lu boleh nampak itu awek mesti pegang
kaw-kaw tangan balak dia yang hensem
tamau kasik lepas. Wa pun tatau apa
hat. Public affection yang terlampau2
juga akan dilakukan oleh itu awek
tersebut terhadap balaknya. Boleh
diperhatika n jua kadang2 itu balak
hensem pun ada sikit segan sama itu
awek punya tingkatlaku. Lepas itu aa,
kalau ada amoi cun lalu tepi, ini awek
tak cun mesti kasik jelingan maut
terlhadap itu amoi cun. Selupa mau
makan olang... Inseculity ploblem..

Awek tak cun + balak tak hensem

Ini couple talak sapa pedulik punya..no
komen..

Group of girls + 1 guy

Selalu nya berlaku di kedai makan..
Seolang lelaki di kelilingi kawan-kawan
pelem puan nya. Sungguh selonok kalau
dapat mendengar perbualan meleka. Lu
akan pelasan, sambil meleka makan, itu
lelaki mesti cakap paling banyak sambil
buat lawak talak kelaka (tapi kawan2
pelempuann ya mesti ketawa jugak)

Awek cun berpakaian seksi

Akan lamai olang melihat awek ini.
Tetapi awek ini talak kisah sebab besar
kemungkinan dia sulah biasa mendapat
pandanga n seperti itu. Awek seksi ini
suka menunjukkan buah-buahan di dada
nya, atau pusat nya di khalayak lamai
kelana dia tau badan nya ada powah..
Seperti juga lu ada keleta cantik ka
lumah besar ka jam balu ka mesti kasik
olang tengok, so boleh pelasaan ada
happy. ini awek pun sebegitu jua.

Awek tak cun berpakaian seksi

Hoiyoooo ini manyak keji punya
polumpuan. Lu balang talak cantik kasik
tutup mahh, jangan bikin olang lain
saakit mataa. Ini spesis juga suka
menipu dili sendili dengan
mengatakan "I wear sexy and I feel
good" ataupun "I have the right to wear
anything I want"... Sememangnya meleka
melasakan bahawa berpakaian seksi boleh
menjadikan meleka jadi lagi lawa.. Wa
tidak lasa begitu. Huduh akan tetap
huduh. Tetapi jikalau huduh & sexy??
Tepuklah lu punya dada tanya selera ada
lalu ka? Tatau apa mau cakap lagi woo!!!

-Is it true???????-

Lawak Yg Jijik

Benda yang paling cepat

Jusoh telah diamanahkan supaya memilih dari calon-calon yang memohon untuk mengisi jawatan yang telah ditawarkan. Setelah menyusun dan mencari dari biodata-biodata yang diterima, dia dapati ada 4 pemohon lelaki yang sama dari segala segi kelayakan mereka. Jusoh kemudiannya memutuskan untuk memanggil kesemua 4 pemohon tersebut untuk bersemuka. Dia merancang untuk menanya satu soalan yg akan menentukan siapa sebenarnya yang lebih layak untuk jawatan tersebut.

Harinya pun tiba. Sebaik saja keempat-empat lelaki tersebut mengambil tempat duduk masing-masing dalam bilik temuduga, Jusoh terus bertanya, “Beritahu saya, apakah perkara yg paling cepat sekali berlakunya?” sambil menunding jarinya kepada lelaki yg pertama.

Lelaki pertama dengan penuh keyakinan menjawab, “Fikir. Ia muncul tiba-tiba dalam kepala. Tiada amaran awal tentang kehadirannya. Fikir adalah kejadian yg paling pantas yang saya tau”.

“Itu sudah bagus!” Jawab Jusoh.

“Apa pendapat awak pula?” dia bertanya pada lelaki yang kedua.

“Hmm… ok… Kelip Mata! Ia berlaku tanpa kita sedar pun. Itulah yang terpantas sekali berlakunya”.

“Tepat!, Sekelip Mata.. selalu digunakan untuk menyatakan kecepatan pergerakan sesuatu” sambut Jusoh.

Dia kemudiannya berpaling kepada lelaki ketiga yang terus memberikan jawapannya. “Apabila suiz lampu di’ON’ kita akan dapati lampu segera mengeluarkan cahayanya tanpa lengah walau sedetik pun.

Pergerakan cahaya itulah yang tercepat dan terpantas yang saya tahu”. Jusoh amat terpikat dgn jawapan yg diberikan, dalam fikirannya tertera inilah orang yang dia cari.

Walaubagaimana pun, dia berpaling kepada lelaki keempat lalu mengajukan soalan yang sama. “Setelah mendengar ketiga-tiga jawapan tadi, nyatalah kepada saya iaitu perkara yg paling pantas sekali berlakunya adalah ‘berak cair’. “APA?!” Terperanjat Jusoh dgn jawapan yang diberikan.

“Oh biar saya jelaskan” kata lelaki keempat itu, “Ceritanya begini, suatu hari saya merasa kurang selesa lalu saya terus berlari ke tandas. Tapi, sebelum sempat saya berfikir, belum sempat saya berkelip mata pun dan belum sempat saya ‘ON’ suis lampu tandas tu, saya sudah terberak cair dalam seluar saya.”

Siapa yang dapat kerja tu agaknya…

Condom

A girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time.

Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour.

He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the counter the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy: a 3-pack,10-pack or a family pack. "I'm really going to give it to this girl," the boy tells the pharmacist."

"I intend to plug every orifice in her body at least twice." The pharmacist, with a laugh, suggests the family pack, saying the boy will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meet his girlfriend at the door. She says, "Oh I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer with his head down.

Ten minutes passes and still no movement from the boy.

Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend finally leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist

Pregnant Lady

A lady about 8 months pregnant got on a bus. She noticed the man opposite her was smiling at her.
She immediately moved to another seat.
This time the smile turned into a grin, so she moved again. The man seemed more amused.
When on the fourth move, the man burst out laughing, she complained to the driver and he had the man arrested.
The case came up in court. The judge asked the man (about 20 years old) what he had to say for himself. The man replied, "Well your Honor, it was like this: When the lady got on the bus, I couldn't help but notice her condition.
She sat under a sweets sign that said, "The Double Mint Twins are coming!" and I grinned.
Then she moved and sat under a sign that said, "Logan's Liniment will reduce the swelling", and I had to smile.
Then she placed herself under a deodorant sign that said, "William's Big Stick Did the Trick", and I could hardly contain myself.
BUT, your Honor, when she moved the fourth time and sat under a sign that said,
"Goodyear Rubber could have prevented this Accident"... I just lost it."

-MAT INDON KIM**-

Post ni khas utk 3 ekor mat indon yang pau aku kat pudu aritu.. 3 Mat Indon PUKIMAK.Mak korang x ajr ke carik duit halal. Datang cni keje buat cara keje ar. Apsl pau aku. Aku xpenah main dgn mak korang pon.. Mintak-mintak la Tuhan htr post ni kat korang.Pastu korang kene langgar STAR lrt tapi jari kaki korang je putus.Pastu korang kene hempap dgn lori simen time driver die tgh amik lap.. last kali korg mati kene buasir sbb mkn duit aku.. wahaha.. pastu aku g kubur korang baca Al-Fatihah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!